Coping with Manic Depression

I am a 42 year old woman living with Manic Depression. My diagnoses is Bipolar II Disorder. I have been mentally unwell from my childhood, although at that time my parents did not believe in psychiatry, so I was considered a “problem child”. My illness has spiraled out of control to the point where in 2000 I started to be hospitalized for long periods of time. When my mother had cancer a few years before, I stopped my life to go and take care of her, as my father could not do it alone. It took my parents until the third time I was in the bin to come and visit me and that was the only time. Over the past eight years, I have spent more than two years (if you combine the stays) in a hospital. What I have concluded from this is that people who are mentally ill do not get the same love, respect and concern than those suffering from other (physical) illnesses. We who are mentally ill do not have visitors with flowers and cards. Our stays in the hospital are not supported by those who would not bat an eye at visiting the physically sick. In 2002 the World Health Organization stated that 20% of the global population was Clinically Depressed. That’s a pandemic. What is worse, is that if you have given a trusted person a Medical Power of Attorney, it does NOT include mental health issues. This means that if you are in an institution, you can make medical choices for yourself, even if you are not competent to do this. How do I know? Because I chose to have Electro-Convulsive-”Therapy” in a hospital. Not a decision I would have made in a “normal” state of mind. I went through over 22 of these, which depleted my memory of the years 2001-2003. I do not recall 9/11, even though I sat and watched on TV, according to my B.F. The last hospital I was placed in (December 2006-February 2007) was not good. They had me on many drugs (which I will take happily, as I believe they help), but in particular, they had me on 600 mg of Thorazine. My B.F. waved the P. of A. at them and they fell about laughing. I ended up getting hold of a scalpel and slashing my wrist. I was released three days later. Yup. Not that I’ll name the hospital…..but Belmont is not just a race-track. People with mental health problems are looked down on, made fun of and feared. Historically, our treatment has been suspect, at best. Many of us carry on in pain and suffering that would, if it were physical, have most people hooked up to an I.V. Most cannot afford the treatment that they desperately need. The stigma is enormous, and often stops some one from seeking help. In 2005, the World Health Organization made a Mental Health Treaty for those suffering in Europe, which stated among other things, that those suffering should be given the utmost support in being considered. The war is here, and we do nothing to fight it.

Old Age has Gotten me Bitter

Our next anonymous person is dealing with a problem aging. He thinks that the life at an old age just isn’t the same anymore. He feels weak and bored. He also feels that people look at him differently because of his age. Please help this individual find a way to entertain himself and view life more optimistically.

I know that it is the natural thing for one to get old, however I never thought I would come to a realization that my life now is a horrid nightmare that I am just waiting to wake up from. I am 79 years old and am asking myself why am I even living if I have to take a medley of medications a day in order to live a “healthy life.” I am confined to my wheelchair and it is a horrific feeling when I look back old pictures of myself when I use to be an athlete. What is the purpose of life anymore at my age? I cannot be active as much anymore and my only form of entertainment is daydreaming while looking out my window. My days back in New York were ones that left a lasting memory on me. What I am angry is this.. why do people have to look at me and talk to me like I am a little boy? I am a grown man and I have gone through more things than any of those young folk have ever imagined. I have seen things that are unfathomable to the young soul. I hate when kids, adults, family members, nurses, doctors, and everyone alike talk down to me so condescedingly. Why do people think that because I am old they have to be so kind and gentle to me like I am a kid? “Ohhhh its medication time! Are you ready?” Give me a break! Just give me the damn medication and let me go on to live my pathetic life. There has to be some kind of entertainment that I can do other than sitting here and daydreaming.. IF I find that activity is another story.

I am overweight, and I hate the Stares

I don’t see a Crease in your Arm

Whenever I go to the gym I see these kids who go everyday but make no gains. But the thing that pisses me off is that they walk around as IF they have significant gains. If you are going to go to the weight room.. “weight” room then LIFT WEIGHTS!! Don’t just put it at a suitable weight that you aren’t struggling at and lift it up and down you are GOING TO GAIN NO PROGRESS. I’ve seen so many of these idiot kids lifting weights incorrectly and jerking the weights up and down it starts to piss me off. The thing that pisses me offf the MOST is when chubby armed kids walk around with the rolled up sleeves on their t-shirts. It doesn’t make SENSE!! IF YOU HAVE NO CREASES IN YOUR ARMS WHY ARE YOU ROLLING IT UP?!?!? TO SHOW YOUR FLUBBER? Its something I have been trying to understand but the answer..I haven’t really gotten the hold of yet. If you have no muscles DO NOT ROLL YOUR SLEEVES UP!! If you go to the weight room LIFT WEIGHTS DONT JUST WALK AROUND AND ACT LIKE YOU ARE LIFTING. And then people ask why they don’t see results. They don’t see results cause they dont f(cking lift in the gym..they stand around and loook at them selves all day or socialize.

I hate that I eat so Much

I hate that I eat so much. I eat and I can’t stop eating because the food tastes just so gooood!! After I eat I get food coma. Wonderful right? Well yeah thats the story of my life. The thing that I love most in this world is food. The thing that I hate the most in this world is food as well. Nowadays food comes in the most amazing wrappers..shiny wrappers, gold wrappers..silver wrappers etc. They trick me into buying the food. Snickers bars for example, it comes in ice cream form and candy bar form. It’s almost like I have to choose my destiny..should I go with the perishable icecream form or the long term candy form? It’s my choosing. If it were me I’d choose both because I like to eat. I freaking hate food because it is the root of all that is evil.. it makes me look ugly, feel ugly, and look like a freaking big mac. But, like I said I cannot stop eating because I love food so much. People look at me weird at buffets when I stand up and eat there..I hate that. Can’t you let a fat man eat some grub? Seriously. I get so angry sometimes when people at buffets look at me.. well yeah they look at me with the most disgusted look on their faces. Yeah? You think thats funny? Keep eating at the buffets and you will soon look like me. So what I am trying to say is that I hate how I was born..how I have to constantly have this urge to eat. Whatever it may be..whether it be twinkies, cupcakes, those delicious little debbie cakes or even potloads of lasagna I just must eat it. I look in the mirror and I know I’m fat because I don’t fit into the aerial view - but hey who cares right? Eating is what I love and hate.. it’s not a crime. But, it does affect me mentally and socially because of my weight. Oh well as I am typing this I am eating a pizza..go figure.

Mesothelioma Uncovered, What workers need to Know

I am very mad at the fact that many times when I work construction I am never told about mesothelioma which is a cancer that can develop from the asbestos that are present in the machinery at construction websites. I have just found out about this issue and have switched careers. For those of you who do not know what Mesothelioma is, it is the cancer of the lungs caused by asbestos. If you are working in the construction business or deal with cars I suggest you go and google asbestos and Mesothelioma.